How do you define jealousy? What makes jealousy obvious? When does jealousy begin?
I seldom feel jealous…Jealousy comes in many surprising ways.
There were only two reasons my best friend and I would break the no-calls-past-midnight rule. It’s either there was an emergency or something bothered someone mentally. When I answered the call and ensured it was not the former, I asked,
“So, what’s keeping you up tonight?”
“I got a promotion at work today. I am the new supervisor in my department,” my friend said.
When Does Jealousy Begin At work? How Do You Manage Insecure Employees?
The word jealousy is a complex emotion with a long history in clinical psychology. While envy involves a desire for something that someone else has, jealousy is typically focused on protecting one’s own possessions or relationships. Jealousy can be a painful emotional experience, especially in the context of sexual infidelity. Reactive jealousy can lead to damaging behavior, including anger and sadness, and may require therapeutic intervention to address. In some cases, jealousy may be a sign of deeper insecurities or issues with trust and affection.
I instantly felt happiness for my best friend. I witnessed how much she busted her butt off to get into that digital marketing company. But I found it odd that her tone did not reflect the good news that she had just shared. That’s something I pointed out, and my best friend took it as a cue to finally talk about what’s bothering her – extreme romantic jealousy.
The “Jealousy Bug”
As we were talking, she said, “It was my coworkers, you see. Of course, we were not best friends but friendly at work. As soon as the boss announced my promotion, I saw their strained smiles and claps. During the coffee break, they did not invite me to get up and go to the pantry, which they usually did. I even found them huddling there, but they dispersed and pretended nothing happened when they saw me.” That reeks of envy if you ask me.
“I understand,” I said carefully. “It seems like your coworkers have caught the jealousy bug. Envious feelings occur more often than you think, even if you do not mean to seem above them. You should relax your mind, knowing that you did not use hocus pocus to get that promotion.”
Our call ended at that, but I could not help but feel sad for my best friend for becoming a victim of jealousy.
Sometimes, envy even causes workplace bullying, which pushes someone to get depressed or have suicidal thoughts. Envy occurs anytime because it is a complex emotion that feeds on fear, insecurity, threat, unhealthy emotions, unsecured romantic relationship, and danger. It affects behaviors, understanding, and compassion towards things that matters in a valued relationship.
However, I would have preferred more in an ideal circumstance if the person with sexual jealousy would come to my office for mental help. That happens once in a blue moon. But thinking about it, if there are no people with envy reigning over them, there might be fewer bullied people on the planet.
If the person reading this blog has ever felt that envy jealousy of a coworker, here are a few healthy tips on avoiding valued relationship jealousy over that newly promoted person.
Feeling Envy At The Workplace
Social comparison theory is really at the root of abnormal jealousy in the workplace. The significance of this hypothesis is that we match ourselves up against others (like our collaborators or romantic relationships) to comprehend how we’re doing, and our view of that correlation directly influences our mental self-image. This way, when your romantic partner gets recognized or promoted, it is hard not to see their prosperity as your failure.
Know When You’re Envious
The primary thing you need to do is to stop denying your jealousy of someone else’s success. I know how challenging that can be to say out loud, but you should at least be able to admit your jealous feelings.
For example, jealousy is a common experience in life and often has roots in perception rather than reality. While jealousy can be a normal part of romance, it can also lead to hurt and suspicion. Learning to cope with jealousy can involve examining one’s own insecurities and addressing feelings of inadequacy. At a certain point, jealousy can become harmful and lead to losing the very thing one is trying to protect.
Recognizing jealousy allows you to assert your own goals. After all, you don’t have jealousy of something that you do not want. Still, instead of trying to bring the successful person down, you should use your jealous controlling behavior to feed your determination to be better than them in a different way.
Jealousy can also manifest in sibling relationships, leading to feelings of resentment and competition. While jealousy over romantic partners often involves fears of being unfaithful, sibling jealousy may be driven by a desire for attention or recognition by one party.
It is important to address jealousy in any relationship, as it tends to be destructive. However, in some cases, jealousy may be a natural and healthy response to certain situations, and it is important to examine the root causes to determine the best way to address the matter.
Count Your Blessings Instead Of Being Jealous
We experience jealousy on a whim sometimes. Jealousy is like a childish part that makes them think, “All for me; nothing for others.” People experiencing jealousy do not aspire to have the job of the newly promoted person, but they’re jealous anyway.
There’s always something about a jealous person. His or her extreme jealousy involves a perceived threat that ruins the interpersonal relationship. If the feelings of jealousy become uncontrollable, jealous behaviors then promote own insecurities, low self-esteem, physical infidelity, emotional infidelity, and more internal damage.
Jealousy arises when there’s a lack of self-esteem. In some cases, it makes a person feel threatened as they believe their partner has someone else. Jealous people root for jealousy and envy.
If you ever go through that jealous phase in your romantic relationship, you have not counted your blessings in a while. It would help if you often did that because of jealousy towards the wrong individuals. For instance, while jealousy is their only win, you are ahead of them by five or ten goals. Once you realize that, you may feel like a fool as jealousy shouldn’t even take place.
Always Be Humble
Assuming your aims are no different from that of your newly promoted coworker, you may be unable to keep yourself from jealousy. I would like you to be honest about that person’s traits that are perhaps better than yours while straying away from jealousy
Say, are they friendlier than you? Do they pick up new information faster than you? If the answer is yes to any or all of them, you have your work cut out. You can observe how your coworker those things or ask them directly to take you under their wing.
The key is to perceive the conditions and characteristics in others that trigger your jealousy. Inquire whether your sentiments uncover what you are generally upset about. Recognize the perceived threats that set you off to feel jealousy and focus on emotional infidelity.
When you precisely distinguish the things that set you off, you can start to tame jealous sentiments before they transform into counterproductive reactions. You can likewise zero in on working on yourself in the areas you’ve found you care about most.
Final Thoughts For Your Success
Jealousy, though considered one of the difficult feelings to carry around, is a normal emotion that we all feel when another person appears to be better than us. However, instead of letting it fuel your hatred towards the newly promoted person at work, you should use jealousy to find your success. Jealousy shouldn’t hinder you from striving.
Frequently Asked Questions
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