I was going through a writing block when my best friend gave me a ring in the middle of the night. There were only two reasons why either of us would break the no-calls-past-midnight rule. It’s either there was an emergency, or something bothered someone mentally.
When I answered the call and made sure that it was not the former, I asked, “So, what’s keeping you up tonight?”
“I got a promotion at work today. I am the new supervisor in my department,” my friend said.
I instantly felt happy for my best friend. I witnessed how much she busted her butt off to get into that digital marketing company. But I found it odd that her tone did not reflect the good news that she just shared. That’s something I pointed out, and my best friend took it as a cue to finally talk about what’s bothering her.
“It was my coworkers, you see. Of course, we were not the best of friends, but we were quite chummy at work. As soon as the boss announced my promotion, though, I saw their strained smiles and claps. And during the coffee break, they did not invite me to get up and go to the pantry, which they usually did. I even found them huddling there, but they dispersed and pretended like nothing happened when they saw me.”
“I understand,” I said carefully. “It seems like your coworkers have caught the jealousy bug. It occurs more often than you think, even if you do not mean to seem above them. You should relax your mind, knowing that you did not use hocus pocus to get that promotion.”
Our call ended at that, but I could not help but feel sad for my best friend for becoming a victim of jealous people. I have seen her case multiple times in my counseling office. Sometimes, it even causes workplace bullying, which pushes someone to get depressed or have suicidal thoughts.
In those cases, I would need to treat the bullied individual. However, I would have preferred it more in an ideal circumstance if the jealous person would come to my office for mental help. That happens once in a blue moon, but if you think about it, if there are no people with jealousy reigning over them, there might be fewer to no bullied people on the planet.
If the person reading this blog has ever felt jealous towards a coworker, here are a few tips on avoiding hating that newly promoted person.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
The primary thing you need to do is to stop denying that you are jealous of someone else’s success. I know how challenging that can be to say out loud, but you should at least be able to admit that to yourself. Then, you can say, “Yes, I want what they have.”
Doing so allows you to assert your own goals. After all, you cannot feel jealous about something that you do not want. Still, instead of trying to bring the successful person down, you should use your jealousy to feed your determination to be better than them in a different way.
Count Your Blessings
Jealous people tend to experience jealousy on a whim sometimes. It is like a childish part of them that makes them think, “All for me; nothing for others.” They do not aspire to have the job of the newly promoted person, but they’re jealous anyway.
If you ever go through that phase, you have not counted your blessings in a while. That’s something you must often do because we tend to get jealous of the wrong individuals. For instance, while that is their only win, you are ahead of them by five or ten goals. Once you realize that, you may feel like a fool as you see that there’s nothing to be jealous about.
Learn From The Promoted Person
Assuming your aims are no different from that of your newly promoted coworker, you may be unable to keep yourself from feeling jealous of their success. That’s especially true if you started almost simultaneously in the company, but they overtook you in no time. Still, I would like you to be honest about that person’s traits That are perhaps better than yours.
Say, are they friendlier than you? Do they pick up new information faster than you? Are they better at communicating compared to you? If the answer is yes to any or all of them, then you have your work cut out for you. You can observe how your coworker those things or ask them directly to take you under their wing. This way, when a vacancy for a new promotion opens, you will have a better fighting chance.
Jealousy is a normal emotion that we all feel when another person appears to be better than us. However, instead of letting it fuel your hatred towards the newly promoted person at work, you should use it to find your own success.