Counseling 101: Why You Should Not Hate The Newly Promoted Person

I was going through a writing block when my best friend gave me a ring in the middle of the night. There were only two reasons why either of us would break the no-calls-past-midnight rule. It’s either there was an emergency, or something bothered someone mentally.

When I answered the call and made sure that it was not the former, I asked, “So, what’s keeping you up tonight?”

“I got a promotion at work today. I am the new supervisor in my department,” my friend said.

I instantly felt happy for my best friend. I witnessed how much she busted her butt off to get into that digital marketing company. But I found it odd that her tone did not reflect the good news that she just shared. That’s something I pointed out, and my best friend took it as a cue to finally talk about what’s bothering her.

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“It was my coworkers, you see. Of course, we were not the best of friends, but we were quite chummy at work. As soon as the boss announced my promotion, though, I saw their strained smiles and claps. And during the coffee break, they did not invite me to get up and go to the pantry, which they usually did. I even found them huddling there, but they dispersed and pretended like nothing happened when they saw me.”

“I understand,” I said carefully. “It seems like your coworkers have caught the jealousy bug. It occurs more often than you think, even if you do not mean to seem above them. You should relax your mind, knowing that you did not use hocus pocus to get that promotion.”

Our call ended at that, but I could not help but feel sad for my best friend for becoming a victim of jealous people. I have seen her case multiple times in my counseling office. Sometimes, it even causes workplace bullying, which pushes someone to get depressed or have suicidal thoughts.

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In those cases, I would need to treat the bullied individual. However, I would have preferred it more in an ideal circumstance if the jealous person would come to my office for mental help. That happens once in a blue moon, but if you think about it, if there are no people with jealousy reigning over them, there might be fewer to no bullied people on the planet.

If the person reading this blog has ever felt jealous towards a coworker, here are a few tips on avoiding hating that newly promoted person.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

The primary thing you need to do is to stop denying that you are jealous of someone else’s success. I know how challenging that can be to say out loud, but you should at least be able to admit that to yourself. Then, you can say, “Yes, I want what they have.”

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Doing so allows you to assert your own goals. After all, you cannot feel jealous about something that you do not want. Still, instead of trying to bring the successful person down, you should use your jealousy to feed your determination to be better than them in a different way.

Count Your Blessings

Jealous people tend to experience jealousy on a whim sometimes. It is like a childish part of them that makes them think, “All for me; nothing for others.” They do not aspire to have the job of the newly promoted person, but they’re jealous anyway.

If you ever go through that phase, you have not counted your blessings in a while. That’s something you must often do because we tend to get jealous of the wrong individuals. For instance, while that is their only win, you are ahead of them by five or ten goals. Once you realize that, you may feel like a fool as you see that there’s nothing to be jealous about.

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Learn From The Promoted Person

Assuming your aims are no different from that of your newly promoted coworker, you may be unable to keep yourself from feeling jealous of their success. That’s especially true if you started almost simultaneously in the company, but they overtook you in no time. Still, I would like you to be honest about that person’s traits That are perhaps better than yours.

Say, are they friendlier than you? Do they pick up new information faster than you? Are they better at communicating compared to you? If the answer is yes to any or all of them, then you have your work cut out for you. You can observe how your coworker those things or ask them directly to take you under their wing. This way, when a vacancy for a new promotion opens, you will have a better fighting chance.

Final Thoughts

Jealousy is a normal emotion that we all feel when another person appears to be better than us. However, instead of letting it fuel your hatred towards the newly promoted person at work, you should use it to find your own success.

Counseling 101: How To Be Happy For Others’ Wins

I used to think that digital marketing was a female-dominated area. After all, if you look at most websites or any form of digital marketing strategy, you would most likely find women modeling them. However, I eventually realized that the men behind those ideas were merely banking because women were far more likable than men in general.

I learned all about this from my twin sister, who decided to break the stereotype and start her digital marketing firm. Of course, it raised eyebrows in our family, but our parents supported her as much as they supported my decision to change my career from medicine to counseling a few years back. They even gave her a substantial amount to rent an office space and get her ideas running.

I should say that my sister’s business took off smoother than anyone expected. I knew that first-hand because I was one of her clients, and I recommended her to other people who wanted to market their businesses and offices on the internet. It was incredible how much my online presence had grown since her team built my website and social media accounts.

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Then, A Boyfriend Came

My twin sister called me early in the morning one day, sounding extremely giggly. When I asked what’s happening, she said that she found the love of her life. I heard that line way too much since our teenage years, so I told her to hold her horses and leave at least 1% of herself to herself just if this golden guy turned out to be brass like the others.

“Sis, I hear you, but believe me when I say this is the one for me,” my sister insisted. “I met him in one of the digital marketing conventions I attended. He has a company in New York as well, so he lives near me and gets me. Isn’t that wonderful?”

I wanted to point out to my sister that the last question made her entire statement less believable, but as her family, I was expected to give her new beau the benefit of the doubt. “All right,” I relented. “Just promise me you won’t forget what I said about keeping 1% of yourself.”

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My twin sister wasted no time after that to introduce her new boyfriend to our parents formally. Mind you, it had not been a whole month since they started dating exclusively when they decided on that. The guy had introduced my sister to his family to prove that he was not playing around.

But There’s A Big Hurdle

Everything was excellent in my sister’s relationship until they thought of bidding for the same project in Manhattan. When I asked my sister about it, she said that it was all out of pure fun. “Whichever company wins, we will be happy for each other. Who knows, perhaps we will do a merger if we end up getting married,” my sister explained, giggling.

Of course, I decided not to worry about it. For one, it was not my place to dictate how my sister should run her relationships. Secondly, I knew how competitive she could be. If I should worry about someone, it should be directed towards her boyfriend because he chose the wrong girl to challenge.

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And as if I was a fortune teller, I saw my sister’s latest ad on a massive digital billboard on the freeway one day. It was for the company that she and her boyfriend decided to bid on as rivals. I called my sister to congratulate her on her victory, but I was answered with sobbing.

Even without my sister confirming it, I already expected the worse. Then, once she said that her boyfriend broke up with her when he learned about his company’s loss, I was no longer surprised. I had seen more than my fair share of egotistical men who could never accept a defeat, especially if the fight was against a woman, regardless of the area of expertise.

How To Feel Happy When Others Win

My sister’s relationship is a lost cause at this point, but if you want to know how to be happy when others win in life, you should:

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  • Avoid making comparisons between others and yourself. Everyone has a different winning strategy.
  • Be grateful for the other wins you have experienced. You may have lost now, but you have probably won a lot before, too.
  • Clear your head – and your goals. Sometimes, you may feel jealous of someone because their lives are in order – and yours is not – so it’s easier for them to make their dreams come true.
  • Look up to the winning individuals instead of getting jealous of them. They are doing something amazing, and you should learn how they did that.

Final Thoughts

My twin sister learned an incredible lesson after dating a jealous man. But even if you do not get romantically involved with them, you should be aware that you’ll come across many jealous people in your life. In that case, hold your head up, offer some tips if they are open to it, and enjoy your wins because you deserve them.